TSITS: Playoff Beards

Bill Guerin, now that guy is the shit.

You know what's the shit? Oh you don't? Well then I'll tell you. Beards. As I like to say, "Chest hair is for college, back hair is for the young professional." Yet facial hair trumps it all. Who remembers not shaving in high school? You know, getting that peach fuzz popping off? Thinking you look old and badass when in reality you looked like an albino pedophile.

The seed, however, was planted: facial hair is awesome. How else can an abundance of body hair become a fashion accessory? A defining characteristic? A way to make you look older? Or cover up the proof of your family's unfortunately shallow gene pool?

But, beards are increasingly in danger of jumping the shark or "nuking the fridge" (Hoffman, Willis, 2009). Their ability to be the shit is in danger by their sheer popularity. Could their success be their ultimate downfall - not unlike the ancient city of El Dorado? But, there is still one type of beard that is and forever will be the shit. You want to know what it is? You certainly have a lot of questions, but fine, I'll tell you: The Playoff beard.

Why just take a look at the handsome 39 year old gentleman above. With his name on the Cup twice, me thinks he knows a thing or two about playoff beards. A little salt and pepper please - and why not? Also notice the stitches, damnitalltohell thats awesome. More importantly, look at that facial coverage, it's full but not bushy, groomed but not manicured, serious but not Bon Iver. Playoff beards are seriously the shit.

But why are they the shit? The answer is pretty simple. They represent a male bonding ritual, a shared symbol of camaraderie, of brotherhood, of sacrifice, of hard work and of success. So the sheer fact that you are in the position to grow one is awesome. Moreover, everyone on the team, no matter how crappy or spotty their facial hair comes in - I'm looking at you Sid - at least tries to grow the beard and that is a a great tradition. Add to that the guys who spend the season clean shaved and then all of sudden look like chia pets come April, I mean that is awesome.

So it is for their ability to rally the troops, build unity, look seriously badass and just be an awesome tradition that playoff beards are the shit.

TSITS: Tangible Skills

There he is. The King of Tangible Skills.

This post will likely be revisited in future posts, but you know what is the shit? Tangible skills. You know, like actually having the skill to do something of value. I, like all guys, have always known that knowing how to do stuff well - aka a skill - is even cooler when it has some sort of value to society at large - aka tangible.

I got to thinking about this due to a number of things. First, I learned to snowboard last year. Not only is it awesome and fun, but it quickly dawned on me that part of the reason I liked it so much was because it was literally the first tangible skill that I learned since probably elementary school. Damn that's sad.

Second, with thanks to the Mayan's we all know that the world is going to end in 2012. See my twitter feed as we single handedly get #2012Apocalypse to start trending. But as I discussed this with a friend, we both kinda realized that when the world ends in 2012 we will be pretty useless to our own survival let alone the heavy task of repopulating an utterly destroyed planet Earth. "Hey Everyone! Tough apocalypse. How are we going to get through this? Oh what skills do I have? Well I used to be certified in CPR and I know how to snowboard and I was a golf caddie growing up." Yeah, I'd probably be the bait as those with tangible skills hunted wolves and bear in an effort to survive.

Third, I went to a liberal arts college aka where tangible skills go to die. The summer after I graduated I worked a job (let's be serious, it was an internship at a Land Trust) that required me to use woodworking skills. Now I took a woodworking class senior year of high school and made a rather nice coffee table that I still have (Read: It didn't fall apart) so I thought that I would be fine. All too quickly I realized that I sucked at even basic things, like using an electric drill to drive some screws. An ELECTRIC drill. Plus, I can't even remember if its called a drill or not. Talk about emasculating. But hey, I can write an argumentative essay on political theory and the environment. Oh, that won't help us build a bridge across a stream? OK, well, I'll go bring some 2x4's over then.

Now, think about things that are popular right now and how much skill they take. Facebook, this blog, the Real Housewives of (Insert Metropolitan Area Here), using your smartphone. Total talent required: Pulse.

Our collective lack of tangible skills are now plainly visible. Why do people like to cook all of the sudden?Why are people voluntarily growing their own food? Why do we watch shows about fixing up houses? I mean seriously, look at the programing on Discovery or the History Channel: Ice Road Truckers, Tougher in Alaska, Deadliest Catch, Swamp Loggers, Dirty Jobs. You know what all of the jobs on those shows require? Thats right, Tangible Skills. Thats why people like them. So, in other words, Tangible Skills are the shit. No one wants to watch a show called "Office Based New Media Specialists" or "Communicating: The Real Life of Public Realtions Experts".

So while it does not matter what your tangible skill is, as long as you have one. And for those of you who know that tangible skills are the type of shit that is the shit, and actually possess some tangible skills. Well, here's to you. Maybe you can teach me some of those skills.

It is for the importance and relative scarcity of tangible skills that they are the shit.

TSITS: "Commando"

Ahhh look at this cover! This shit is the shit! "Somewhere, Somehow, Someone's Going to Pay!" What does that even mean? Who cares? Thats awesome. Also the vest. Let's see, tons of pockets and a grenade and what is either the handle of a sick hunting knife or the top of a bottle of Bud Heavy. This shit is the shit.

First apologies for the second DVD based post, but you what movie is the shit? Commando. Schwarzenegger, Rae Dawn Chong and like 10 year old Alyssa Milano. This movie is seriously the shit.

While many may argue that any/all of Schwarzenegger's movies are undoubtedly the shit (and I would largely agree), Commando is most deserving of the title, the shit. I think that "The Running Man" is actually Arnold's highest quality movie - a classic sci-fi flick in my opinion, and that the Conan's are the best for sheer absurdity, but Commando tops all of them. Want to know why? Here's why.

- Look at that poster. Also look at that vest

- The beginning: Oh Arnold and child Alyssa Milano live in the northern California forest. Suddenly someone's managed to steal child Alyssa Milano. She does a good job of fighting but is ultimately unsuccessful. Arnold chases, literally driving down the side of the mountain in a Ford Bronco. Excellent start.

- The sheer number of murders committed. My freshman year roommate claimed that he counted over 226 kills by Arnold. Alone. Awesome.

- Arnold chasing down a plane (you gotta see that)

- The one liners. A classic Arnold flick feature but there are some gems - "Don't bother my friend. He's dead tired." "Let off some steam." and of course the crown jewel "You know how I said that I was going to kill you last? I. Lied." There are so many more.

- The villian: Some Australian guy who is overweight and dressed in what appears to be a combination of chain mail and S&M gear. Respect.

I could go on forever about this movie, it is seriously the shit. So absurd. So good. This is a perfect movie to watch with your buddies (No Gurlz Allow'd sign on the door) and a 30 rack of Keystones. Maybe do a push up contest afterwards or try to count all the unique weapons or the absurd feats of strength Arnold does throughout the film. But at any rate, this film is seriously the shit. Go rent it, or ideally buy it. You won't be disappointed.

For it's absurd murders, child stars, one liners and weapons vest I bestow onto "Commando" the honor of being the type of shit that is the shit.

TSITS: Tangible Skills

TSITS: Queen Live at Wembley Stadium

You know what is the shit? Concert DVDs - the next best thing to an actual concert. I don't care what type of music you like, it's always better when you can throw a DVD in, sit down and drink a beer, pause the concert, grab another beer and not miss a beat. While I boast a handful of personal concert favorites, Queen's 1986 masterpiece Live at Wembley Stadium is the type of shit that is truly the shit.

I mean seriously, look at that shit. Just looking at that cover gets me pumped up. The yellow jacket, the drama, the voice, the microphone attached to a mic stand that looks like Freddie Mercury broke it in half over his knee. Just marching around the stage, that shit is the shit. Add to that the final song and costume and it is just unreal. The awesome nature of the DVD is only increased by the fact that Queen had the crowd eating out of their hands the entire concert. Check it out for yourself and see some of Great Britain's least attractive and most passionate Queen fans rocking out and singing along the entire time. Amazing.

It was said at an early summer BBQ that if you can't appreciate Queen's Live at Wembley, then you can't appreciate Rock and Roll music. That is certainly true in this case - even more so because the DVD combines lesser known Queen songs with the reliable singles a casual fan would like to hear. Therefore, it is for that reason, and many more, that Queen's Live at Wembley Stadium is the shit.

That Shit is the Shit

Such a simple phrase, but so much meaning. These simple five words (four if you omit duplicates) were not uttered by me, but by a sage like friend. I simply am the messenger. This forum will be devoted to shit, that is quite frankly the shit. Like the google supplied background implies, I will be searching the world over to find some shit that is the shit. Agree or disagree, but I can personally guarantee that everything on here will be the shit.