You know what's the shit? Snowboarding. You know what isn't the shit? Listening to your skiier friends slander the good name of the spiritual art of snowboarding.
You know the type. These people learned to ski on their upper middle class family trips out west and complain about the rude snowboarders, what with their bright colors, and baggy pants, and rock and/or roll music. I can hear them now, "Ah man the snowboarders skiied off everything and now I can't ski anymore....blah blah blah, it's all icy now....blah blah blah, reference to Whistler...blah blah blah."
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| Some of my fellow minimalist snow aficionados. Photo courtesy of Illicit Snowboarding |
But if you're like me, you've noticed that more and more of the rats on the hills are little kids on skis - and that shit is the shit. Seriously. Take a look around next time you are catching turns. First look at all the skiiers and then check out the snowboarders. The snowboarding crowd is this weird group of people, mostly males, who appear trapped in time. They still wear their absurd outfits, but the youngest amongst them are in their mid to late 20's and most tap out around 40 or so. We're like the mosquito stuck in amber from Jurassic Park - a time capsule from the 1990's if you will. Don't believe me? WELL....A little paper called
THE NEW YORK TIMES begs to differ.
So why does this matter? Well snowboarding is still the shit, and the fact that it's becoming less popular, or stalling in popularity, makes it hilariously the shit. Frankly, I hope snowboarding drops off the cliff in terms of popularity. Enjoy your "hucking", freed heels, cutting through the glade, insanely steep cost of entry, and what have you. Me and my fellow olds are going to carve some graceful turns while listening to Pear Jam's "No Code" on our Discman, discuss NAFTA, sit down in the middle of the slope while precisely dialing in our boots to ensure the perfect fit, ask people what a Go-Pro is, debate the coolest Burton deck design, and celebrate the old man's club that snowboarding appears to be becoming (Note: Women Allowed too).
So next time the hills are skiied off, check the footage on that 14 year olds Go-Pro, he/she is probably to blame, not us minimalists on the single plank. Plus, the handful of us snowboarders won't be available as we will be stuck trying to figure out how to get up the slight incline that leads to the next chairlift and our knees are killing us. That shit truly is the shit....
